Little Miss Muffet Sat on a Tuffet and Turned My Face into a Clown. How One Elf Cream Blush could go so very wrong!


Me in my perennial Mumu, scared to go in public because of my clown face.

Why the nursery rhyme nonsense Alli? Well what happened to my face after trying, the ELF HD Cream Blush, was such a nightmare, I decided to flip it and make it into a fairy tale. Like I ACTUALLY wanted my face to look like a clown for reals! In the above pic all I needed was a wig and a nose and I would have been set! So gather around friends and listen to the tale of the “Cheap Drugstore Cream Blush that Magically Turns People into Clowns.”

So I tell you what I want, what I really want. I want an HD Blush, or really any blush for that matter that makes my face look natural and pretty like this…


Before my friend Farrell's graduation party, only wearing Clinique Peach Pop Blush.

Not like what happened that fateful day when this came into my life


The bottle looked so pretty, so pink, and in the bright light of Target Beauty Aisle, it started to sing to me. “Come buy me Alli, HD means shows up in pictures well, and although I look crazy pigmented, I will give your face a natural flush.” Well I listened to the song and decided to what the heck, try it out, if it looked good, I could be a drugstore makeup hero.

The fuschia pink blush came in a pump and I squeezed just the tiniest amount onto my hand like so


Decision was made to rub with skunk brush (ELF Small Stiple Brush) and then blend onto checks. I could see my possible glow now in the foreseeable future…ohh, ahh. This is what happened when I rubbed with the brush.


First I somehow managed to get quite a lot on my finger? What in the world? Oh Originals, if that was our only problem…Le sigh! Yes all of that color was from that one tiny dot, but you think you are done with this blush on your body? “No way Jose,” the cream blush laughs, “Just look at your hand my pretty”, it coos.


Do I have roscea of the hands? After trying this product, I sure did!

If you feel bad for the finger and the hand, just wait until you see the brush.



STILL FROM THAT ONE DAMN DOT! I don’t mean to curse,  but this is getting freaking absurd. That skunk brush was completely white on top before this stupid blush!

“Oh”, exclaimed the blush. We have saved the best wash of hot pink for last. The part that is going to go on your face, and look like so,


Originals this was after blending in nonstop for 5 minutes! The results aren’t even worth it. Trying to get all this crap off stained my shower and skin for crying outloud. I don’t care what other colors there are, no blush on this Earth should be so hard work, and the only payoff is an amateur clownface! DON’T do it peeps! I beg of you.

Complete absolute miss for me, F-!!

Stay Tuned and Stay Original!


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